The male engagement ring

Have you heard of it?  It makes perfect sense, really.  A male version of the engagement ring is now available in response to demand from women wanting to propose to their men or to show that their man is spoken for, as well as gay men who want to propose to their male partners in a traditional way.  The ring should be worn on the left ring finger just like it is for women.  Some claim it should be transferred to the right ring finger after the wedding, while others say it should be worn on the left ring finger along with the wedding band.

Details Magazine has a great piece by senior writer Ian Daly in this month’s issue.  Daly does a good job of providing real life examples to support his observation that this is no longer a ladies-only affair.  He covers it all, from stories of women who have proposed to their man to the appearance of the term ‘mangagement ring’ on the internet and the clever marketing tactics of jewelry stores hoping to cash in on the idea.  My soon to be married brother– who has been wearing a real life male engagement ring since January– is even quoted.

Dan Utt, 25, who runs an after-school program in Cary, North Carolina, remembers when the feeling hit him. He was at the jewelry store with his girlfriend, Amanda, shopping for her engagement ring, he says, when “I kind of under my breath was like, ‘I want one too.’” His decision to act on that impulse didn’t go over too well in Morrisville, where he lives. “Some of the guys and girls I know have given me some grief,” he says. “My boss was getting a lot of questions too. I told him that if anyone asks to jokingly tell them that we didn’t think it was fair for her to have the only pre-wedding bling.”

Thinking back to my own engagement in 1998, my husband and I certainly would have purchased him an engagement ring if we had thought about it.  We found ourselves bucking tradition in many ways– we agreed to the engagement, rather than him surprising me with a proposal and we now share a hyphenated last name that is a combination of our “maiden” names– yet we went through the down on one knee proposal ritual as if we were obligated to.  It was all fun and exciting, but it would have been great if the engagement activities better reflected the equality in our relationship.  Maybe we could have done the one knee thing together, humbly asking the honor of sharing the rest of our lives.

I can’t help but see how this trend is related to the surge of nontraditional last names.  Both reflect the growing desire of modern men– straight and gay– to be part of romantic relationships that are true partnerships in every sense of the word.  I love it!

*The ring pictured above is by British jeweler H. Samuel and is called the Tioro.  It retails for £79.99.