Baby Name Finder

Rushing to the delivery room without a baby name?  Thanks to BabyNames.com, there’s now an app for that.  The Baby Name Finder sells through iTunes for $4.99 and allows users to find, sort and keep favorite baby names.  Also included is a name of the day display and a random baby name generator.

BabyNames.com founder Jennifer Moss explains:

Whether you want to save that great name you heard at the playground or need to take your list of front runners to the hospital, the application gives you access to BabyNames.com’s database of over 15,000 names anytime, anywhere.

Very cool!

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Fords

Jaime Case and Chris Hodges knew they wanted a nontraditional last name when they married, which Jaime explains on their blog as being for the following reasons:

1) I didn’t want to take Chris’s name and he wasn’t quite comfortable with the idea of there being two Mrs. Hodges (the first being his mother).

2) Chris didn’t want to take my name, which is fine, because Mr. Case is in fact, my father.

3) We didn’t want to hyphenate our names, thus creating a new disease, the Case (of the) Hodges.

4) We wanted to choose a name that would work for the whole family, which may or may not someday include children, dogs, and random goldfish.

The journey to becoming Mr. & Mrs. Ford began with a few rules:

1) The name had to be American, because neither of us thought it was appropriate to take on an ethnic last name just because it “sounded cool.”

2) It couldn’t be the maiden name stolen from a good friend.

3) It couldn’t be a first name, last name. (ie: Chris Ryan, Jaime Bruce)

4) It couldn’t hurt anyone (ie: taking my stepdad’s last name would hurt my father)

5) It had to be easy to say and spell so that we don’t torture our future kids.

After months of deliberation, Jaime says the name Ford was chosen because:

1) The word “Ford”, as defined by dictionary.com, means “to cross a river.” It implies strength and determination, two qualities Chris and I hope to embody in our marriage.

2) President Gerald Ford, an adopted member of the Ford family, was from Grand Rapids, Chris’s hometown. Chris holds Gerald Ford in high regard, as does the rest of his family.

3) Betty Ford helped raise awareness for breast cancer and was considered a leader in  the Women’s Movement. She is also the founder of the world-famous Betty Ford Clinic, which helps treat substance abuse and addiction.

4) Ford is the only American car company that didn’t take bailout money.

5) Henry Ford founded the Ford Motor Company with the idea that the common man should and would be able to afford his own car. The Ford Motor Company still works to achieve this goal today.

6) Roxy (the Ford Fusion the couple drove on a pre-wedding road trip) has been like a family member to us, and since her last name is Ford, we’re happy to share it with her. Even though we’re going to have to say goodbye to her this week, she’ll always live very large in our memories.

7) Driving around the country seeing the Ford sign everywhere made Chris and I feel like a part of a larger family- we loved that.

8 ) Chris’s mother has an extensive history with Ford.

9) My father, who was the student body president of Fresno State, was given a Mustang fastback during his presidency.

10) My first truck was a Ford Ranger- a vehicle that is infamous to anyone who ever drove with me in high school. My brother, who was one of my best friends growing up, always had Mustangs.

11) My grandfather Bud loves the entire country in his Ford truck.

The couple will keep their maiden and bachelor names as middle names so people will “know where they come from.”  Their entire journey is documented at WeddingRoadTrip.com.

This story may sound plum crazy, but I’ve known and helped real Name Counsel clients who choose completely new last names.  I’ve seen “Meadows” for a love of open spaces, “Carolina” because the couple met and married there, and “Bell” for Buddhist inspired mindfulness.  Most often the new names come from a distant family member– a grandmother’s maiden name, perhaps– but more and more couples are opting for a choose your own approach.  Wonderful that we live in a place and age where we have these options.

Best wishes to Mr. & Mrs. Ford!

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Drummond Family

An Arkansas mother recently tried to sell naming rights of her unborn son on eBay. For reals.

FoxNews.com reports:

An Arkansas woman is offering the opportunity to name her seventh child to the highest bidder, starting at $150. The unemployed mother of six has posted an auction on eBay in hopes that she will receive enough money to buy a “trustworthy” car and to relieve her sister’s burden of supporting her cash-strapped family.

“It sounds really crazy but I thought maybe there’s someone out there who could help me out with a good name,” Drummond told FOXNews.com. “I’m running out of names.”

Drummond — whose six children are 19, 16, 14, 3, 2 and 1 — said the proposal hasn’t exactly struck friends and relatives as a savvy financial move. And her husband, Richard, a Navy sailor stationed in Virginia, doesn’t even know about it yet.

Not a savvy financial move.. um, is that really the biggest issue here?

The baby boy, who is due September 16th, would have likely ended up with the auctioned name– Drummond promised to honor the agreement and even let the highest bidder visit with the child– but the auction listing has now been removed.

If the intention was simply to have fun with suggestions because she had run out of names after six children, then fine.  There are a multitude of free ways to get feedback on baby names such as BabyZone’s Baby Name Polls, BabyNames.com’s Vote on NameLists feature, or good old fashioned phone calls to friends and relatives.  But if it was all about earning a few extra dollars, that just doesn’t sit well with me.  Names are SO personal and SO closely tied to identity.  Maybe I’m biased because I spend my time helping people decide on names, but it seems like a big deal.

Would you sell naming rights to your baby?  Even if you really needed the money?

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MySpaceMaidenName

Since I don’t log into my MySpace account very often, I only recently got around to reading their maiden name message sent earlier this year.  The message reads:

Dear MySpace User,

MySpace has just launched support for maiden names where you can enter your maiden name, keep your new married name and still have all of your friends find you.

All you have to do is fill in your maiden name here.

Thanks!

Tom

PS – While you’re filling in your maiden name, you can also add alternative email addresses and Instant Messaging handles that people can use to find you as well.

Nice they’re making it easier for old friends to connect, but good ole Tom really ought to change the terminology so it includes more than just maiden names.

My husband hyphenated his “maiden” name with mine when we got married, and he didn’t get a nifty message like this.  What if old classmates want to find him?

What about divorced men and women whose former co-workers or classmates might be searching for them under a previous name?

I’m sure anyone who has used more than one last name in their lifetime would probably find this feature helpful.  A “former name” or “previous name” option for all users would do the trick.

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Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Rumors are swirling that Demi Moore has decided to take husband Ashton Kutcher’s last name in honor of their fourth wedding anniversary.  An unnamed source recently told British tabloid The People, “Demi didn’t want to change her name at first because it didn’t seem right but now she finally feels ready.”  That was Sunday and none of the major U.S. outlets have reported the news, so it’s hard to know whether or not to believe it.

However, Demi’s twitter username is mrskutcher and she did tweet the following statement earlier today:

I am officially married so thereby I am Mrs Kutcher !! RT @_Mrs_Malfoy is it tru that demi will officially change her name in2 kutcher? about 3 hours ago from TweetDeck

Plenty of real life married women wait awhile before deciding on a permanent married name.  My cousin kept her maiden name for about a year before hyphenating, and I’ve worked with many Name Counsel clients who have done the same.  If you aren’t completely sure about modifying your name, it’s nice to plan a wedding and adjust to married life without a name change deadline looming.  Who needs the stress?!  On the flip side, there are many women who– like me– initially take their husband’s name but later change it to something different.  Luckily, you can ALWAYS change your mind.  The only real deadlines are self imposed.

Whatever Demi does, I wish her all the best.  Congrats to the happy couple!

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Image from The New York Times

Image from The New York Times

Jang Do emigrated with his family from Korea when he was just a kid, so it’s understandable he wanted to fit in by Americanizing his name.  The only trouble is that at 11 years-old, he didn’t get why John Doe might not be the best choice.  Alison Leigh Cowan of  The New York Times explains:

First he turned “Jang” into “John.” Then, he talked his family into adding an “e” to their last name. He was concerned, he said, about razzing and wanted to make sure it would be pronounced like the “do” in “tae kwon do” and not the “do” in “hairdo.”

He has been John Doe ever since.

Airport security grills him every time he flies. “I have to sit in the office,” he said. “Every time.” Landlords and election inspectors view him quizzically, and prospective dates need more than a little assurance that he’s not hiding a dark past.

“I say my name is John Doe and they say, ‘No, what’s your real name?’ and I pull out my ID,” he said.

Doe is 40 years-old now and works as a software programmer in New York City.  He insists he has no regrets about changing his name to John Doe, although he admits to sometimes using his middle initial– H. for Hyun– to spice things up a bit.

Doe is still single, but hopes to marry someday.   Preferably not a Jane.

Great story!  I love it!

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Tiff's Cordoba

You read that correctly.  Hard to believe it was ONLY 30 years ago that married women in Rhode Island won the right to decide what name to use in registering a car once they were married.  In July 1979, volunteer lawyer Sheila Cabral-Sousa successfully litigated the case for the Rhode Island affiliate of the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union).

The Providence Journal describes objections from the state registrar of motor vehicles at the time:

Requiring married women to use their husbands’ names, said the state registrar of motor vehicles, Eugene Petit, “is in the best interest of the safety of the community. It will keep bad drivers off the road and give us better control of the registry.”

Petit, whose comments were including in the landmark state Supreme Court case Traugott v. Petit, called the requirement “patriotic.”

“Listen,” Petit is quoted as saying, “I respect gals in every phase. I hope they just respect society in this.”

Amazing to think about things our mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers had to deal with that we take for granted today.

The ACLU issued a press release Monday in honor of the anniversary:

It is true that the past thirty years have seen many victories for women’s rights. … However, the struggle against gender-based discrimination continues to this day in the fight for equal pay for equal work and similar issues. A look at some of the comments made by public officials only 30 years ago in this case serves as a stark reminder that gains for women’s rights remain of recent vintage and, therefore, remain far from complete.


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My Name Is

I recently mentioned how female Kelly Hildebrandt is marrying male Kelly Hildebrandt, and how cute the whole story is.  But having the same name doesn’t always have a happy ending. A name mix-up at a Salt Lake City hospital last week left one family thinking their loved one was dead.

Fox13Now reports:

On Friday, the hospital received a patient that later died from an electrocution accident. The hospital called who they thought was the man’s employer who then immediately called his wife. The person they contacted, however, a woman named Claudia, was the wrong person.

When Claudia was told her husband was dead she went hysterical and called family members and also sent text messages to friends. She even called her children to tell them their father was gone.

“It’s the worst phone call you could ever imagine receiving,” she said.

The man that was electrocuted on Friday had the same first and last name as Claudia’s husband, but he was nearly 20 years younger. As Claudia was about to arrive at the hospital, her cell phone rang and it was her husband Doug.

Yikes!  That must have been horrible for the poor family.  The hospital claims the mix-up was due to a communications error and is now investigating how it happened.  They released the following statement when a Fox13 reporter contacted them:

The staff of Jordan Valley Medical Center would like to express their condolences to all those affected by this tragic incident. In situations where we need to notify the family of a patient being treated in our facility, we utilize established protocols. However, in this instance we had a breakdown in our communications that is being thoroughly investigated. Again, we are very sorry for any distress or concern we may have caused.

The hospital has not yet contacted the family personally to apologize for their mistake.

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Caner-Medley image from The Baltimore Sun

Caner-Medley image from The Baltimore Sun

Basketball player Nik Caner-Medley is getting flack about his hyphenated last name from Most Valuable Network blogger TCW.  A recent post in the Bucks Diary slams the “annoying” surname:

I imagine the first part of the hyphenated is his mother’s maiden name.  I’m guessing she’s a professional woman who is full of herself.  That’s cool if you want to emasculate your husband by calling yourself “Rodham-Clinton” or whatever, but why make the kid go along with it?  I always find it arrogant when parents force their kids to live out their New Age beliefs like that, or when they give them stupid first names like “Peace Frog” or something — which is a great, wildly underrated rock song by the way, but I’m digressing badly here).

Wow.  It’s tempting to ignore this kind of bigotry assuming that the writer is too far gone, but it’s important to speak up.  I find TCW’s “jokes” unfunny.  The “professional woman who is full of herself” and “emasculated husband” stereotypes are unfair and harmful.  No one knows why Caner-Medley’s name is hyphenated, or what his parents considered when they made that choice for their son.  Regardless, it’s no one’s business but their own.  Nik is an incredible basketball player with a bright future.  His name is completely unrelated to his athletic ability.  I won’t even mention the jab at Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Most Valuable Network (MVN.com) needs to get rid of blogger TCW immediately.  His comments are no less offensive than the ones that Don Imus made when he referred to the Rutgers University women’s basketball team, which is comprised of eight African-American and two white players, as “nappy-headed hos.” Young boys are watching, and it’s imperative that a good example is set.

Teaching Tolerance (a project of the Southern Poverty Law Center) has a wonderful document called Speak Up! about responding to everyday bigotry.  I’ll be writing to the Most Valuable Network president to tell him that TCW’s comments are utterly unacceptable.  I will urge him to download the full Speak Up! pdf document and share it with his employees– right after TCW gets his walking papers.  I’d love it if you’d do the same.

I find it ironic that Evan Brunell, president and co-founder of Most Valuable Network, is profoundly deaf and wears a cochlear implant.  Would TCW think it was funny to joke about the deaf?  Would Mr. Brunell have allowed deaf jokes to be published in the Bucks Diary?  The sexist and bigoted remarks about Caner-Medley’s name and parents are no different.

Grow up, TCW.  And take some responsibility for your bloggers, Mr. Brunell.  Disgusting.

Write to Most Valuable Network president Evan Brunell at evan@mvn.com.

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UPDATE: I heard back from Most Valuable Network president Evan Brunell and his response is below.  He and I are both interested in any reactions YOU have, so please leave a comment.

From Mr. Brunell Tuesday, July 21, 2009 1:49pm:

Ms. Utt-Grubb,

Thank you for your e-mail. Since ‘TCW’ is responsible for his comments, not MVN, I have copied him on this e-mail should he wish to get in contact with you.

I would caution that taking a blogger’s words about a sports player seriously is an exercise in futility. This is sports. It’s probably the only arena in the word where being “politically incorrect” is actually correct.

Also, as someone very familiar with bigotry, I would recommend that you not allow this to bother you. Everyone has fair and equal rights under the law, but not everyone is the same. Trying to pretend everyone is the same is an exercise in futility. God, nature, or whoever you believe in, made absolute and distinct differences between gender, race and other areas. To ignore this is to ignore the laws of nature. Again, as I am certainly familiar with “bigotry” (and by the way, that’s a mighty strong word for you to use, and I feel it’s a very incorrect word), I can also tell you that once you accept everyone’s differences and find the humor in these jokes, life suddenly becomes a lot more enjoyable. People are different. Embrace it. Laugh at it.

That’s what I do about my deafness. When people make jokes about my deafness, I laugh. Why? Because I’m deaf. Why try to deny it? There’s a difference between saying things maliciously and saying things in humor. TCW is clearly in the latter camp.

(PS: there have been deaf jokes written at MVN. Some by myself.)

That’s just my two cents.

As I mentioned before, I have copied TCW on this e-mail. MVN will not take any action against TCW, as we feel his words are not a firable offense – indeed, there have been much harsher words spoken across the sports landscape that did not result in a firing — or of those that did (Don Imus springs to mind), they find another job quickly.

Of course, you are more than welcome to disagree with MVN’s decision, but I hope that now that you have some insight as to my opinion on such comments, you can at least understand why I arrived at such decision.

Sincerely,

Evan S. Brunell
President: Most Valuable Network, LLC [mvn.com]
Columnist: Fire Brand of the American League [firebrandal.com]
e-mail: evan@mvn.com | aim: EvanatMVN | gtalk: evan.brunell

My response to Mr. Brunell Tuesday, July 21, 2009 2:18pm:

Mr. Brunell,

Thank you for the lengthy response.  I understand the nature of the sports arena.  I also understand and agree that finding humor in differences is good.  I make jokes about my own bad last name frequently– including a story I tell about how someone said that taking naming advice from me must be like taking interior decorating advice from Ray Charles.  However, I stand by my position on TCW’s comments.  In my opinion, he could have made a joke about the name being unusual or a “what were they thinking” type crack, but to say that Nik’s mother was full of herself and her husband was emasculated takes it way too far.

With your permission, I’ll post your response on my blog so that readers can make their own decisions about this situation.

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kelly-hildebrandt

Just for fun, Coral Springs, Florida resident Kelly Hildebrandt searched Facebook for her own name.  According to The Miami Herald, she found a male Kelly Hildebrandt from Lubbock, Texas whom she began interacting with online.  After eight months of dating, the couple is now engaged.  Other than having a cruise ship reservation canceled, they aren’t having too much trouble living with the same name.

How cute!  At least it will be easy to decide on a married name.

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